By: Greg Douglas, LMHC
Full disclosure, I’m a couples therapist who believes that good couples counseling can be a transformative experience no matter how good or bad your relationship is at the moment. As you can imagine, not everyone sees couples counseling the same way. There are many myths surrounding couples counseling and I’m here to set the record straight.
Myth #1: Your relationship has to be struggling mightily before trying counseling
Definitely not true!
Far too many people wait far too late to seek out professional help. Those who wait until things are truly at the boiling point will have a much harder time getting unstuck. It’s like hearing a knocking sound in your car’s engine and thinking, “well, that doesn’t sound right, but I’ll give it a few months and see if it changes before taking it to the mechanic.” By the time the car gets to the mechanic it has torn itself apart and is beyond repair, just like many relationships.
The Truth: The earlier you catch the problem, the easier it is to solve
I advise couples to seek out help as soon as they notice an issue that they are not able to easily solve on their own. The more proactive you are about your relationship, the healthier it will be.
Myth #2: The therapist will blame and criticize me for our problems
Nope, not the case!
Good couples therapists are not judgmental, critical, or blaming. The job of a couples therapist is not to point out how much one partner sucks compared to the other partner. Their job is to let you know how the moves you are currently making end up impacting your partner and the health of the relationship.
The Truth: Each of you is responsible for the health of your relationship
I tell my clients in our very first session that the real client in the room is the bond between the partners, and that is what I am aiming to work on.
Myth #3: We should be able to fix our own problems
Says who!
If you were capable of fixing your own problems, you probably would have done it by now. But you haven’t and probably won’t be able to, and that’s okay. Thinking this way is just flawed logic. When was the last time you said, “I need to be able to fix this on my own, no lawyer can help me, so I’ll show up to court and represent myself.” How well does that work out…
The Truth: If you need specialized help, you need to seek out a specialist
If you need legal help you talk to a lawyer. If you need tax advice you talk to an accountant. If you need car advice you talk to a mechanic. If you need medical advice you talk to a doctor. When you need help in other areas you go get professional advice, why is needing help in the area of relationships any different? Newsflash, it’s not!
Myth #4: Couples counseling is too expensive, and I can’t afford it
Not true!
While good couples counseling is not cheap, it is an extremely solid investment and often much less expensive than you think. Most qualified couples counselors will charge between $140 and $200 per session for a course of therapy lasting between 12-14 sessions. These sessions are usually spread over a period of around 4 months making the monthly cost around $480. While $480 per month is a significant expense, the typical family of four spends about $5,000 for a one-week vacation at Disney World!
The Truth: Spending money on couples counseling is a matter of priority, not money
We tend to find ways to afford things that are a priority in our lives. What could be more important than having a happy and successful relationship?
Let’s Set the Record Straight
Couples counseling has long suffered from myths that prevent people from coming in and getting the help they need. If you or someone you know has a faulty view of what couples counseling is and how it works, please share this article with them and feel good about doing your part in setting the record straight!
Douglas Counseling is a private therapy practice that specializes in couples counseling. If you would like more information or would like to schedule a free consultation, please call (561) 207-1903 and visit us online at www.DouglasCounseling.com.
