Counseling for Men in Relationships

Why aren’t relationships easier?

Men, are you struggling in your relationship? Do you worry that you just don’t have what it takes to keep your partner happy? Are you doing your best, but it’s still not seen as good enough?

It may come as no surprise that most men have very little confidence in their ability to be a good partner. Our society has socialized men in a way that prevents them from truly connecting with their female partners. This is sad but true.

Men are raised to be competitive, high achieving, unemotional, inflexible, and strong. These qualities make a great CEO, but they give men no chance at being a successful partner in a modern relationship.

Women have changed – Men have not.

Today women are seeking a partner who values equality, fairness, support, engagement, and connection. Most women have updated their view of what modern marriage looks like, but most men have not.

When partners have vastly different views of what they expect out of the relationship, the scene is set for ongoing conflict. Men need more help than ever if they hope to have a happy and healthy long-term relationship.

Need More Tools?

Men, do you feel like you are simply out of options? Your partner is upset with you, but nothing you have tried seems to help.

“If you only have a hammer, the whole world looks like a nail.” This is the approach used by most of the men that come to our practice. They have two tools to work with: 1. They explode out of anger or 2. They withdraw and stay silent.

We teach men the skills they need to be successful in a relationship. Our therapists give men the chance to employ the numerous tools needed to get their relationship back on track or a completely new trajectory toward health and happiness.

A Real Partner

“I just feel like I am the only one in this relationship; I don’t feel like I have a real partner.”

We have heard way too many women give this same report. They feel alone and helpless to have their men see the need to live a more relational life. We help men see the benefits of staying engaged with their partner and with their families. Once men buy into living a relational life, their relationships flourish, and their self-esteem soars.

How it Works

The process of teaching men to live relational lives works like this:

1. Men understand the need to change and make a commitment to do the work.
2. Men learn the skills needed to communicate, understand, feel, and engage.
3. Men pair their newfound beliefs with their improved skills and build solid relationships.

We motivate, teach, coach, and support men throughout this process.

If you are a man and see the need to improve your relationship skills, or if you are in a relationship with a man that needs to update his relational tool kit, please call Douglas Counseling at (503) 388-6611 to set up an initial phone consultation.