By: Greg Douglas, LMHC
You want nothing more than to save your marriage, but your partner seems set on moving towards divorce. You tell them you are willing to attend couples counseling, but they are skeptical.
Why Couples Counseling May Not Work for You
What? Is a couple’s counselor really telling me couples counseling won’t work? Yes, in a situation where one partner is leaning in and the other is leaning out, couples counseling will likely not work. Many people enter counseling in this situation to make a last-ditch effort to save their marriage.
The problem is that without serious effort and high levels of motivation, the counseling won’t have a chance to work. Good couples counseling works, but both parties must be on board.
The Perfect Option: Discernment Counseling
Luckily there is a form of counseling that was created specifically for “mixed agenda” couples. Discernment Counseling is much different than couples counseling because the goal for discernment counseling is not to repair the marriage, rather it is to decide whether both of you are willing to try.
The Goal of Discernment Counseling
The goal for discernment counseling is to gain greater clarity and confidence in making a decision about the future of your marriage based on a deeper understanding of what has happened to your marriage and each person’s contributions to the problems.
How it Works
Discernment Counseling offers you 3 Paths:
Path 1. You decide to continue in your relationship in its current form
Path 2. You decide to move towards separation and divorce
Path 3. You decide to make an all-out effort to reconcile for the next 6 months including couples counseling and other methods of help
How Long it Lasts
Discernment Counseling is time-limited and is completed within a maximum of 5 sessions. Each session of discernment counseling is 90 minutes long and includes time for the couple to meet together and individually with the counselor.
The Benefits of Discernment Counseling
• Since you are not doing couples therapy and actively trying to “work on” the relationship the leaning out partner will feel less threatened and more willing to attend.
• Both partners can feel confident that they have taken the time to make a thoughtful decision about their marriage or relationship, no matter which path they choose.
• You will be much better prepared to start couples counseling (if you choose Path 3) as you will have in-depth knowledge about your contributions to the issues within the relationship.
• You will start couples counseling knowing each of you is willing to put in the effort needed to achieve lasting change.
How to Get Started
The first step in the process is having a short phone consultation to make sure you are a good fit for Discernment Counseling. Greg Douglas, LMHC has received advanced training in Discernment Counseling and has helped hundreds of couples build stronger relationships.
If you believe that Discernment Counseling is right for you, please give Douglas Counseling a call at (561) 207-1903 or visit us online at www.DouglasCounseling.com.
